A Lesson in Vedic Gossip

This weekend, I enjoyed listening to a revered meditation Guru speak. He touched on the issue of spotty practice, that is missing meditation sessions here and there. This is a big struggle for me. Most days, I get in a single session instead of the recommended 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night. Using a rather reductionist approach, this Guru suggested that one would have time for their second daily meditation if they spent less time “gossiping” and such… This made my heart sink. I’m a young professional in a big city. My days are packed with 10 hours of production work, 2 hours of LA traffic to commute, a flailing writing habit, the lucky chance at an asana practice, household chores, immigration research, oh yeah and feeding kittens.

Yes, creative organizing could find me the sneaky 20 minutes it requires to get that second session in…But I’m frustrated to find that I’m still creatively organizing at maximum capacity just to make it into bed each night without the kettle still screaching and the gas bill payed. That is to say that I lack the energy, the patience, the devotion, to make a quick snack to tide me over until meditation is done, when a meal still must be prepared after, kittens are hungry, the dishes are high, it’s 9 pm and I’ve just made it home, starving and disillusioned.

Perhaps, I thought it would be better by now, that my spotty meditation practice would have instilled in me a grace, a deeper energy, to carry me through the small stuff, to waste less brain on the big stuff. But I’m still at wits end.

And I’m waiting to fall in love with myself in the practice…to be called to the practice like they say one’s body is when the practice becomes up for negotiation. The thing is, I’m full up with road blocks to stillness. My practice still consists of 80% running to do list narrative and 20% approaching stillness most often interrupted by rising fear or anger. In that 20%, past the fear that comes up, I can see IT. I can see how much more time I need, how much more I could let go of and how GOOD it will be when I do. But I have to work through lunch today and I’m worried about having to work on my girlfriend’s birthday, family holiday heartache, paying for my dental work, the war in Afghanistan, and the gay marriage campaign in Maine…

Maybe it’s just that I’m pushing too hard. That I’m expecting too much. The same way I expect perfection of myself in everything I do in the world, so do I expect perfection from everything I do inside my own inner world. I’ve forgotten that I am already perfect inside…that I don’t have to do anything but just show up to find my perfect inner nature. Yes, it will be scary some of the time, to sit through the anger and the fear that I’ve accrued over this lifetime and many before it. So I’ll keep showing up as often as I can. Maybe not every morning and every night, maybe not everyday. But I will keep showing up.

Just When you Thought it was Safe to Turn on Showtime…

oh heeeeell no.

i thought we were done with The L Word?

Ilene Chaikin also thought her pilot for The Farm was gonna get picked up by Showtime… Turns out she was wrong.

Since they’ve passed, Chakin has found new inspiration from The L Word series she managed to run into the ground on the first go. The Real L Word: Los Angeles will feature “real” LA lesbians doing, you know, la lesbian stuff: drinking, partying, being incredibly femme, doing pilates, fame whoring and crying. Because as Chaiken said, “I believe we are not nearly finished telling our L Word stories.”

The thing is, the LAST thing anyone in the lgbtiq communities need is to tell more of these stories. Perhaps, at one point, it was important to establish ourselves as consumers, as a viable source of commerce, and now every major city has a row of gay bars and absolute vodka effin loves us now that we’ve shown we can party. And sure, the world as a whole loves consuming shows about vapid star fuckers vying for a piece of the la lifestyle via reality programming fame. But I fail to see how a reality show about lesbians who are fame hungry, sexy drinkers is going to improve the image of lesbians in the common consiousness of viewers.

We have better stories to tell. I’d much rather make and/or watch a show that followed women who are doing work that is for the betterment of lgbtiq people everywhere. Rather, we will watch The Real L Word which insists that real lesbians are heterosexual in appearance, over sexed and incapable of monogamy. If you want to make the point that lesbians are just like everyone else, why not follow a woman or couple who is living in everyday society, working, loving, etc and then explore how she encounters homophobia or oppression in her life. Then viewers might find commonalities to identify with, influencing their concept of gaynes as “otherness”. Rather, The Real L Word will support the concept that the lesbian woman is here for the fantasy of hetero men.

We have the blessing of having a voice in this country that  so many elsewhere don’t. I think it’s unfortunate that this type of program is often how we choose to use it.